Ginger Snap Cookies

These are hands down the best ginger snap cookies that I have tasted.  And I have tasted a fair share in my days.

They are moist, perfectly flavored with molasses and ginger and easy to eat because they are fanfuckingtastic.

Instead of cooking loads of awesome Christmas cookies…I am at work.  So I will share my super top secret cookie recipe with you.  Guard it well.  People will go insane over these.

Ingredients

2 C flour
1 T ground ginger
2 t baking soda
1/2 t salt
1 t cinnamon
3/4 C shortening <—–yes, you need the real stuff that makes you gain 10 pounds just by touching it. Butter doesn’t cut it with this recipe.
1 C sugar
1 egg
1/4 C molasses

Sift flour, ginger, soda, salt and cinnamon.

In a large bowl cream shortening, gradually adding sugar.  Add egg and molasses – beat well.

Add dry ingredients and mix well.

Chill for 4 hours or overnight.

Form into 1″ balls and roll into sugar.

Place 2″ apart on cookie sheet with parchment paper or a silpat on it.

Bake at 350 for 10-12 minutes.

Cool—–if you can wait that long to eat them.


anyone who gives me food is automatically my friend

I really dug a hole yesterday.  The kind that can never be filled back in.
I found a creative outlet for myself.

By creative I mean somewhere I can say and do anything I please.

You can find me here now.  Which is something that I never thought I would do.

And to really put myself out there like the a single mother new to the dating scene I am also here today.

I really like it there.
They gave me ‘smores and diet coke with a candy apple chaser.
It really made my day.

After all, who doesnt love talking about my crotchular area, Santa Claus and Betty White?

The communists I’ll bet.
They tend to hate everything.

Especially my crotch…but that’s a story for another day.

wishes, wants, goals

With only 10 days until Christmas I am SO ready for the holiday to get here.

I can’t wait to see the kids’ look of shock and awe at the bounty that Jeff and I bought for them mixed in with their loot from Santa.

I am very excited to have a few days off of work, even with a Bowl Game mixed in there.

And while I have been ready for the end of the year…the thought of starting fresh and new in 2011 has me positively giddy.  I want so much for the new year that I hope I can find the time to fit it all in.

2011 in advance

  1. purchase a house this spring/summer
  2. Run a 5K
  3. Run a 10K
  4. Pick a half marathon if the 5K/10K go as planned
  5. De-junk the house before the move
  6. Pay off the one debt I still have (besides my car)
  7. Start Graduate School
  8. Read 50 books in 2011
  9. Lose (and keep lost) this 15 pounds that vexes me
  10. stop buying crappy food at the grocery store just because I have an immediate urge to eat 3 oatmeal cream pies with a Nutty Bar chaser
  11. this one isnt so much fun…stop drinking so much Diet Coke.  It is my reason for waking each morning and the thought of drinking less than 3 a day makes me cry…but I have to try.
  12. actually get my 2009 birthday tattoo gift from jeff
  13. get another tattoo

And now that my mind has gone entirely blank…who wants to guess how many of these things will actually happen?  Yeah…we all know how much of a do-er and a try-er I am.  Procrastination is my middle name…only it is spelled Erin.

Good luck to me in the new year.

White House…listen up

Last weekend we celebrated the holiday season with Santa and Mrs. Claus.
There was brunch.  There were arts & crafts.  There was music.
It was enjoyable but my mind was fixated on a pointless question I didn’t know the answer to.

Has it ever bothered anyone else that Mr. Claus has a first name…but the Mrs. doesnt?

I have always pictured her as more of a Betty.

As in Betty White.

She’s got to be a sassy old broad to deal with his incessant HoHoHo-ing and cookie eating.
Plus Santa has this abnormal love of reindeer and elves…we can probably assume Santa dropped too much acid in the 70’s with the rest of America.

Back to the event.

The kids had a great time.  The adults chased them around.  The end.

Only, when we were waiting in line to sit on the jolly old man’s lap I noticed an odd breeze was hitting my inner thigh.
Normally, who cares.  But I was wearing jeans and in public.  I had to investigate.
So I casually do the ol’ ‘Ill just see whats going on with my leg’ look that is probably just as obvious as smelling your pits to see if you are still fresh as a daisy.

I have a hole.  In my pants.

My chub rub has ripped a hold in my pants.

Okay, not so much ripped as the hole was created by countless days of wearing my jeans while my chub rub burned a hole, leaving my crotchular region available for all to see.  If they were 2 feet tall and looking between my legs.

So for the rest of the event I freaked out that the hole was going to tear and eventually my entire ass and woolly mammoth hairy legs would be exposed to the church going people in the school’s gymnasium.

This was made even more difficult as there was picnic bench style seating.

Have you ever tried to get in and out of a tight spot on a picnic bench without separating your legs and flashing your boyfriends children and family?  Try it.

It is a bitch.

I did make it home without the hole ripping to my kneecap and without Jeff’s family noticing my ‘I feel naughty’ underwear through my pants.

Success and blast fax kudos all around!

Those jeans did not make it past the garbage can in the kitchen and I had to go shopping for jeans.  Which is every chubby girls kryptonite.  Shopping for jeans is similar to multiple root canals, I would guess.

Nothing makes you feel chubbier and more overweight than pants that don’t fit you even if they are 10% stretchy and two sizes larger than the last pair you bought.  Or wearing a size 6 at one store and the next store you fit into a size 9.  No wonder American women have eating disorders of all types.  I would seriously have the Health Reform Bill altered to get every pants-maker to OMG USETHESAMESIZES!  And while they are at it, find a way to add extra fabric to the inner thigh area so my chub rub doesn’t make my 3 month old pair of pants take a dive into the trash.

Women would be happier.  Men would find us sexier and I am pretty sure that world peace would just…happen.

Jeans are that important.

I am sure old Mrs. Betty Claus has some miracle to make her thigh chub not wear out her pants.

How do I know she has chub?  If you are married to jolly old St. Nick there is no way you are having a salad with lemon juice spritzed on it while he eats 3 dozen cookies as a snack.

But she would probably be tight lipped about it with some ‘Christmas Magic’ type of bullshit.

{No, I am not obese but I am a good 10 pounds overweight.  Even ‘skinny’ girls have problem areas on their body where fat accumulates.  Not that I am skinny by ANY means.  I prefer to think of myself as athletic with a light layer of pudge to protect my muscles.}

Giveaway: Crayola Holiday Prize Pack

Crayola is offering more than 30 ways to give the gift of imagination for under $30 this holiday season with a lineup of gifts to inspire wonder,adventure and dreams in toddlers to tweens.

Crayola has created an on-line gift guide making it easy to select the perfect creative activity for the child on your list. It’s available at www.Crayola.com/gifts. You can search it by age, gender and type of product, like mess-free and washable products and activities that offer surprising experiences. Who wouldn’t be surprised to watch their artwork light up in the dark in multiple colors!

Top picks from the Gift Guide include:

Never before has paper been a surface for creating glowing drawings! Glow Explosion Spin Magic is a revolutionary activity toy that lets kids create multi-colored glow-in-the-dark art with markers that light up like glow sticks on paper. The spinning base lets kids create magical mobiles and whirling lanterns for a never-before-seen “glow show” that will wow the entire family when the lights go out. Colorful, glowing shapes like planets or hot air balloons appear as if they are spinning in mid-air. The base unit doubles as a lantern with five different scenes that create cool shadow-effects as they rotate around the radiant, glowing designs created on Glow Explosion paper. $19.99, 6+

The Crayola Color Wonder Sound Studio makes coloring a magical mess-free adventure for little eyes and ears! Kids can add fun, action-packed sound effects like dinosaur roars, motor cycle engines, giggles and even the voices of Buzz Lightyear, Woody and the Disney Princesses to their coloring pages. Sounds play back when they color their pictures. Just choose a sound and add it anywhere on the coloring page to create one-of-a-kind coloring stories with surprising sound effects. Kids can also play back all the sounds they experienced while they were coloring. Sixty sounds can be matched to any image on any page for hours of colorful fun! $29.99, 3+

Crayola Model Magic Presto Dots received “Toy of the Year” honors from Good Housekeeping, Parenting and Parents magazines. The “magic” behind Presto Dots comes from Model Magic’s – a truly different modeling material that doesn’t crumble. It’s not clay, it’s not dough – it’s Crayola Model Magic. Kids can create 3-D, bumpy characters with the easy-to-use “Pop-Dot” tool that grabs just the right amount of Model Magic for building an original creature. A quick press and pop covers characters with presto dots. Pop away with different colored dots, or pop dots on top of dots to create original 3-D creatures that air-dry in 24 hours. $19.99, 5+

So why are Crayola crayons, a holiday classic and a perennial stocking stuffer on the list? This year, specially-marked Crayola crayon boxes (48, 64, 96, 120-ct. as well as the 150-ct. Crayon Tower) include a free code that provides 6-month unlimited access to the Story Studio custom coloring book maker. What a great value! Available at Crayola.com, Story Studio allows kids to transform themselves into a cartoon character from a digital photo or web cam image, customize their character with hats, sunglasses, costumes and other fun accessories and then select a theme to create a custom story book they can print and color. Story Studio was named “High Tech Toy of the Year” by the Oppenheim Toy Portfolio. $5-$15, 3+

If you are planning on shopping Crayola for the holidays, be sure to download a rebate form at www.crayola.com/promos/holidayFSI/. You could save over $20! For the complete Holiday Gift Guide, visit www.crayola.com/gifts. Also, be sure to“Like” Crayola on Facebook and follow them on Twitter to keep up with the latest news from Crayola and special holiday deals!

Want to win a prize pack that includes four of this season’s hottest gifts from Crayola – Glow Explosion Spin Magic, Mess Free Color Wonder Sound Studio, Model Magic Presto Dots and a 64 Box of Crayola Crayons with an access code to try Story Studio?

MANDATORY ENTRY
**To enter this Crayola Holiday Prize Pack giveaway please tell me which of the four gifts would the child in your life most enjoy? (1 entry)

Please do not forget to include your email address if it is not located on your profile! Please leave a separate comment for each entry.

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– Become a fan of There Are Two Sides on Facebook then leave me a comment (3 extra entries)

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(This giveaway ends on December 22 at 12:00pm EST)

Crayola provided me with a prize pack to keep and one to give away and all information through MyBlogSpark.

View my disclosure policy.

Winner: Hamburger Helper Prize Pack

The lucky winner of the hamburger Helper Prize Pack is….

Teresa C. who is a new There Are Two Sides Facebook follower.

Hamburger Helper through MyBlogSpark will send Teresa C. a Hamburger Helper prize pack that includes a box of Hamburger Helper skillet meals, a Hamburger Helper foam “Helping Hand” and a copy of Tim McGraw´s “Southern Voice” CD!

Teresa C. has 48 hours to email me to confirm this prize.

Dining with Joy

Book Description

Joy Ballard has a secret: she’s a cooking show host who can’t really cook.

When her South Carolina-based cooking show, Dining With Joy, is picked up by a major network, Joy Ballard’s world heats up like a lowcountry boil.

Joy needs help. Then she meets chef Luke Davis who moved to Beaufort after losing his Manhattan restaurant. A cook at the Frogmore Cafe, he’s paying debts and longing to regain his reputation in the elite foodie world.

Luke and Joy mix like oil and water…until Joy is exposed on national television. With her career and his reputation both under fire, they’ll have to work together to fix the mess. Is it possible that they can learn to feast on God’s love and dine with joy?

My Thoughts

This was a very cute book and a very easy read for me.  This reminded me A LOT of Confessions of a Shopaholic and it has a lot of the same themes throughout, with a more family feel to it.  Joy lied, was caught and fessed up…things worked out in the end.  I won’t spoil the book for those of you looking for a fun read, but I would suggest this to anyone!

**I received this book from Thomas Nelson in return for an honest review.